Sunday, May 1, 2011


Hello Lovelies! 

Goodness so much has happened since I last posted:
I sold my computer. 
Finished all my finals. 
Sent out announcements and bought my cap and gown. Yes I am graduating this Thursday, but I officially graduated with my undergrad in December and Started grad school in January. I don't feel like I am a college grad yet... 

Lastly, I had my final and last appointment with my therapist. It was bitter sweet. 
I feel like I have actually made progress. I am happier than I was before. I have my occasional depressive episodes, which I probably will always have, but in general, life is much happier.

However, things are not perfect. I had an anxiety attack this morning. My upcoming trip and just my own insecurities and lack of self-esteem was biting at me when I woke up. You see I am going to Europe May 24, but my boyfriend is heading up to Oregon to work for the summer up there. Then we will meet up with each other July 30. 
I trust him and I know he would never cheat. I mean he bought my an ipod touch so we can stay in contact while I am away.
I am so insecure. 
I have been cheated on before. Twice.
 Worst part: where my boyfriend is going for the summer, his ex-fling (from 2008) is going to be in the same town working a 100 yards from where he is. Not only that, but that town is full of crazy snowboarder chicks.
It kills me inside that I will be thousands of miles away. It makes me feel so helpless. I have no control in this situation. What happens, will happen. 
Deep in my heart, I know nothing bad will happen, but I am a hurt puppy. Once you've been cheated on, it's always in the back of your mind. 
I assume everyone will cheat and leave me in the end. 

Silly me....stop thinking this way.

Last night as we were falling asleep my boyfriend whispered into my ear "you know we are so lucky to have what we have. We are young and in love. Truly in love. Not a lot of people our age can say that"

Is this something from a storybook? It's my life. What am I worried about then? 
My own insecurities. Curses.

I hope everyone is having a lovely May!
Only a few more weeks until swimsuit weather (well at least here in the states).
Keep up the hard work ladies. 

I will leave you with a quote from the wonderful Jack LaLanne:
"The only way you get that fat off is to eat less and exercise more."

This man was an animal. In this picture he is 92 years old. Up until his death at age 96, Jack would exercise 2 hours a day and ate a vegetarian diet. He is truly an inspiration. Love this guy!

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